In order to be able to accept praise, we have to believe that we are worthy of it. The more we accept ourselves, the more easily we will believe compliments from others. Accepting ourselves involves recognising our positive qualities, admitting our foibles and allowing ourselves to be different.
The questionnaire below will help you establish your OWN level of self-esteem and self-acceptance. Read through the following statements and decide whether you carry them out "Never or rarely", "Sometimes", "Frequently" or "Very Often".
- I actively pursue and maintain friendships with people I truly like.
- I allow myself to make mistakes, realizing that we all learn from failure.
- I am able to accept my vulnerable feelings like sadness, fear or anxiety.
- I am able to assert my needs and wants with family members, colleagues or my partner.
- I am comfortable expressing my angry feelings.
- I balance my life with pleasure and fun, recognising that I work harder when I am well rested.
- I do things which nurture, strengthen and relax my body.
- I graciously accept compliments and praise instead of being suspicious of them.
- I recognise and value my need for solitude or 'quiet time'.
- When I need comfort, I am able to turn to friends or family and let them know how I feel.
Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered "Never or hardly at all", 2 points for "Sometimes", 3 points for "Frequently" and 4 points for "Very Often".
1-10 Points
You tend to rely heavily on other people's opinions and find it hard to assert yourself in your personal or professional life. You are often so anxious to please others that you often ignore your own needs and wants. You may be prone to rewarding yourself in self-destructive ways, such as overspending or overeating. Make sure that you give yourself plenty of 'me' time; read a book, go swimming, take a walk or just listen to music.
11-20 Points
Although you make sure that you honour your commitments to others, you are often self-critical and overly demanding of yourself and can be quick to blame yourself when things go wrong. Try to be more tolerant of your own mistakes and pay less attention to what others may think. However, the good news is that you often manage to find time for what's important in your life, which should give you a feeling of satisfaction.
21-30 Points
You know who you are and what you need to be happy and you are usually willing to take the time to do something that will fulfil you. You tend to surround yourself with supportive friends or family. You see your strengths but are always trying to work with your weaknesses to improve yourself.
31-40 Points
Congratulations! You have a deeply developed sense of who you are and you make sure that you spend the time to take care of yourself. You value your own feelings and respect those of others and have no reservations about turning to family or friends when you are in need of help or comfort. You are patient and forgiving of yourself and any mistakes you might make. You lead a healthy, well-balanced life.
