Over the last ten or twenty years, it has become increasingly normal for people to travel and work abroad, making a long-distance relationship a reality for many. Perhaps you and your partner lived in different parts of the country (or world) when you first met, or maybe one of you had to relocate for work. Although each couple's circumstances are unique, all of them share similar concerns - is the relationship worth the pain of separation and how can the love be kept alive?
Keeping a relationship going when you are close by can be difficult enough, let alone when you are hundreds (or thousands) of miles away. However, some of the newer technological innovations such as mobile phones, email and text messages can help enormously. No more waiting for the postman to arrive or having to stay at home night after night waiting for their call. However, all the emails and webcams in the world can't compensate for having your partner cuddle up with at night. Travelling to see each other can become expensive and when you do see each other it can be awkward because you know you've got to pack as much fun into those few days as possible, which can be a huge weight on your minds.
On the other hand, long-distance relationships can also be magical, romantic and passionate. On the positive side, you can remain independent, go out with your friends, luxuriate in your own space, watch whatever DVD you choose - all the things that singles enjoy - yet you've still got a loving relationship at the end of the day.
The most important thing is for you both to believe that this relationship will work in due course. As long as you both keep in mind why you chose to do this in the first place, keep each other up to date with what's happening in your lives, trust each other and visit, then your relationship can turn out to be just as successful and happy as if you lived next door.
Long Distance Relationships - A Survival Guide
Here are a few tips for making your relationship work and to keep you both sane during your separation:
1. Keep in Touch
Frequent communication is an essential element of long-distance relationships. Keep in touch daily if possible, even if sometimes it can only be a quick text message. The internet allows us to keep in touch quickly and cheaply with e-mails, instant messaging and webcams, so you don't have to run up a huge bill on long-distance phone calls. However, don't ignore the traditional post. Receiving a personal, handwritten letter is rare nowadays and can be a wonderful surprise.
2. Make Plans
Plan reunions to keep both of you excited about the relationship. Having a date to look forward to can help you through the rough times.
3. Communicate Your Feelings
Make it a priority to reaffirm your love and commitment to one another; don't just assume that the relationship is thriving. Listen to your partner's concerns and communicate your own before they become bigger problems. Being honest is as vital as if you were seeing each other each day. Letting them that you are frustrated because you miss them is better than pretending everything is OK and leading your partner to believe that as well.
4. Make Yourself Busy
Get involved in other activities. Join a gym, get involved in the community, enrol in evening classes, devote your time to a hobby - anything! If you can fill the time you would normally be spending with your partner with fun and interesting activities then the whole process of being apart will become much easier and more fulfilling.
5. Keep a Sense of Humour
When your major form of communication is e-mail, phone or instant messenger, it can be easy to misinterpret or misunderstand your partner's words or actions. Remember that as useful of these methods of communication are, they do often lack the clarity of intent that can be gained from having a face-to-face conversation. Don't immediately jump to the wrong conclusion; keep a sense of humour with your partner, so that you are able to share in and laugh at any miscommunications and mix-ups together.
6. Trust in Each Other
Distance easily breeds insecurity; if you don't absolutely trust each other, you'll waste a lot of time and energy thinking about how simple it would be for the other person to cheat. In order for you to survive your time apart, you must learn to trust your partner whole heartedly; there is no room for suspicion in a long distance relationship. Although this may be easier said than done, there is no need for you to create such unnecessary stress. If your partner is likely to be unfaithful to you, they will probably do it whether they are living 5 miles or 5,000 miles away. Don't simply assume the worst because your partner is making new friends, or going out and finding new hobbies.
7. Keep Up To Date
Keep your partner informed about your life. Although you may live separately, sharing information about your activities and friends is still important. Don't think that your conversation has to be confined to discussing just the major things in life; sometimes the everyday details are just as important, so that you both feel included in each other's life.
