Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential aspect of human interaction. Research has shown that flirting is to be found (in some form or other) in all societies and cultures around the world. It is a basic instinct that is part of human nature: a courtship device evolved to attract and retain sexual partners.
However, although we are 'programmed' to flirt in order to attract sexual partners, we can also use it on a purely fun level with more or less anyone. A bit of light-hearted flirtatious chat or an exchange of admiring glances can brighten the day, strengthen social bonds and raise self-esteem. Flirtation at this level can be enjoyed as a pleasurable and harmless pastime.
So why does it seem so easy for some people to flirt? Although, it's often simply down to confidence and self-esteem, the following qualities are generally found in people with an innate ability to flirt:
- The flexibility to develop a rapport with many different types of people
- A way of making people feel comfortable in their company
- The ability to pick up on other people's reactions to their flirting
- An instinct of knowing what makes other people feel good
- An ability to ask questions and listen properly to the answers
- An awareness of their own sexuality and the power of that sexuality
- A positive and optimistic attitude to life
- A healthy level of self-esteem
- A belief in themselves
- A sense of when to carry flirting on to the next stage and when to stop
However, don't worry if flirting does not come naturally to you; research has shown that flirting is a skill that can be learnt and developed. It's a case of increasing your confidence, having the right attitude and above all, a belief in yourself. The trick is to get out there and practice; find any excuse to meet and interact with people in a variety of situations, whether it's the postman, the person behind the deli counter or your next door neighbour. The essence of flirting is to convey all the best aspects of yourself, so that other people want to know more and are attracted to you. Above all, learn to believe that flirting is fun! Read on for some tips on flirting techniques ...
