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Keeping Your Distance

When talking or interacting with other people, you may notice that you tend to position yourself a specific distance apart from each other, almost as if there is an invisible boundary or bubble around your bodies which prevents other people from coming closer. If someone breaks this boundary, it can make you feel uncomfortable and so you may find yourself moving further away to re-establish the distance.

This concept of 'personal space' is very important when communicating with others; it's essential to pay attention to how much space the other person puts between you and them so that you can maintain the invisible barrier between the two of you. However, it's worth knowing that this boundary can expand or contract depending on the situation and how well you know the other person.

Research has shown that the amount of personal space that the majority of people need can be divided up into four zones: Public, Social, Personal and Intimate:

1. Public Zone

This is the space (3.6 m (12 ft) or more) that we generally try to maintain if we are addressing an audience or a large gathering.

2. Social Zone

The majority of us prefer to keep this amount of space (1.2-3.6 m or 4-12 ft) away from strangers, even when in conversation with them.

In general, people from Mediterranean or Latin American countries are far more comfortable with closer personal distances than the British or Northern Europeans, whereas North Americans fall somewhere between these two extremes.

3. Personal Zone

The personal zone (45-120 cm or 18-48 in) is probably the one that we use most frequently on a daily basis. It is the distance that we prefer to keep between us and the people we talk to on a social level, such as friends and close colleagues.

4. Intimate Zone

The intimate zone (15-45 cm or 6-18 in) should only be crossed by people we are very emotionally attached to, such as family, lovers and very close friends.

Although it's not always easy to keep our distance from others (for example, on a busy train or in a queue), it certainly helps to make people feel more comfortable if you take their personal space into consideration. Unless you know someone very well, always try to remain withn their personal zone and keep an eye out for any signals from them which may indicate that you are getting too close. Such 'barrier signals' may include the person crossing their arms or legs in a defensive manner or perhaps rubbing their neck with their elbow pointed towards you.

Even if you are a 'touchy-feely' person and have more relaxed views on the amount of personal space you need, don't assume that everyone else is. Keep your distance until you get to know each other better.