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Looking at Your Strengths and Weaknesses

If you're ready to move on and get back into the dating scene, you may have already formed an idea of the qualities you're looking for in a partner. But have you ever stopped to think about what you have to offer them? Every once in a while, it's a good idea to stand back and take a good honest look at yourself. Evaluating your appearance, personality and how you react to the world in general will help you see what you have to offer a potential partner. Try to enlist the help of a close friend; preferably one of the opposite sex. Make sure that they're someone who you respect and whose opinion you really value and who can be trusted to be completely honest with you.

Ask them some of the following questions; however, be prepared to hear some answers you might not like or expect to hear:

  • Do you think I'm attractive? Where would I be on a scale of 1 to 10? What could I do to improve my rating?
  • Do you think I'm sexy? Where would I be on a scale of 1 to 10? What could I do to improve my rating?
  • Do I dress well? Do my clothes suit me?
  • Am I fun to be with?
  • Do I seem shy or outgoing to you?
  • Am I too passive or too full-on?
  • Am I bright, well-read and interesting?
  • Do I flirt? Too much or not enough?
  • When I'm talking to new people, do I seem overly interested or am I unapproachable? Do I seem relaxed or am I a little hyped-up?

Whilst this may not be an entirely pleasant experience, it will help you to see yourself from a different perspective. However, if their responses are purely complimentary, then you'll probably need to try with someone else as they are probably just saying what they think you want to hear. This is meant to be a 'cruel to be kind' exercise, not one for admiration; having said that, you might like to suggest that they don't make their answers TOO harsh!

Learn to recognise your strengths, work on your weaknesses and be the best person you can be.

Once you've seen how potential dates might see you, it's time to think about what you have to offer them. Ask yourself (and your friends) the following questions and answer them as honestly as possible:

  • Are you happy with yourself?
    Are you content with your self-image? People with a healthy self-esteem find it easy to attract potential dates and people are eager to become part of their life. Accept compliments with good grace and a smile, not suspicion.
  • Are you a positive person?
    Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Do you complain and whine when things go wrong or do tackle your problems head on? Being happy is infectious and will make other people want to be in your company. Negative people simply drive others away. Work out what makes you happy.
  • Are you responsive to others?
    Are you a good listener? Do you allow people time to talk or do you jump in with your views or comments before they've had a chance to finish?
  • Are you good company?
    How are your conversational skills? Do you ask questions because you have genuine interest in someone else or simply because you want to size them up? Are you passionate about your work or a hobby? Can you communicate this without being boring or tedious? Do you have a wide range of topics you can talk about or is the limit of your conversation restricted to what's on TV?
  • Do you have goals and aspirations?
    Goals are not the same as hobbies; they are major ambitions that you want to work and aim for to boost your own personal self-esteem. This could be to run your own business, take part in a marathon or learn a foreign language. Having goals reveals that you are an independent person with ambition and drive; these qualities are very attractive to other people and fulfilling for you as a person.

In short; the trick to making yourself attractive to others is to learn to recognise your strengths, work on your weaknesses and be the very best person you can be.