Before heading out into the world of dating, it's worth spending a bit out time trying to figure out what you personally want to get out of it. To start with, are you sure that you DO want a relationship, or are you just being pressurised by your friends or the media into believing that it's the only state to be in? Although dating and being in a relationship can be fun and may have many benefits, that doesn't automatically mean that they're for everyone. It could be that there's just no room for anyone else in your life, emotionally or physically, or it could be that you're happier on your own, no matter what the circumstances.
If you feel that you DO want to date or be in a serious relationship, it's important to work out why. It could be for any number of emotional, physical, practical or even economic reasons, as we shall discover below ...
1. To Combat Loneliness
The sight of loved-up couples can be too much to bear for many single people, who often feel lonely and incomplete without a partner. It can be difficult to listen to everyone else planning their Saturday nights and Bank holidays, knowing that you'll probably be spending them on your own. It's also hard to look forward to holidays and other events when you feel that being part of a couple would enable you to share and enrich those experiences.
However, it's important to realise that the grass is not always greener on the other side, and some of those loved-up couples may spend most of their time arguing and may be feeling just as frustrated as you are. Make sure that you are happy with your life as it is, rather than imagining that it would become perfect as soon as you become part of a couple. Read on for a variety of tips on learning to enjoy your own company ...
2. To Find a Prop
Even if you're not lonely, you may feel that being part of a relationship will make certain scenarios in life easier to handle. Maybe you're lacking in confidence and would like the help of a more outgoing partner, or maybe you have low self-esteem and think that a partner (or at least an occasional date) would make you feel better about yourself. However, being in a relationship won't automatically make your life better and you should never expect anyone else to act as your backbone.
It's also common to want to find a partner so that you have someone to talk things over with when you get home after a bad day at work and to act as your sounding board. We've all heard that "a trouble shared is a trouble halved" and so it stands to reason that if you had someone to offload your problems on to, you would be much happier. However, in truth, it's much more likely that you'll be able to solve your own emotional problems yourself, either by thinking them through or talking them over with close friends. Never assume that a boyfriend or girlfriend will have all the answers. Whilst sharing feelings is an essential part of forming relationships, it shouldn't be the only reason for wanting to find a partner.
3. To Satisfy Your Physical Needs
Along with our emotional needs, there are very often physical reasons that we want to find a relationship. Whether this involves simply snuggling up on the sofa, a cuddle before work or a satisfying sex life, physical intimacy is an essential aspect of our lives. However, knowing the type of physical touch you yearn for is important. If you're just craving sex for sex's sake, that's fine, but remember that there's more than one party involved, and it's only fair to find out what the other person expects from the relationship before satisfying your own needs.
4. To Fulfil a Role
Although we are now firmly in the 21st century, many people still want a partner to provide them with the things they think they can't do. Although they might not admit it, most men want a woman to look after them like their mum did at home, and to take on the washing, cleaning and cooking, and the majority of women are more than happy for their man to maintain the car, fix the leaks and unblock the sink. Even those people who are quite at ease carrying out the roles typically assigned to the other gender can be aware that two pairs of hands are better than one when tackling the household chores. Many people also look at how much the quality of their life would improve if they could share a mortgage with someone else, or if they had two salaries in the household rather than just their own.
Whilst these are all very practical reasons for finding a partner; make sure they're not your only ones or at least make it very clear to whoever you're intending to date that this is what you want from a partnership. No-one wants to find themselves in relationship with someone they love, only to find out that they're simply seen as a laundry service or an additional source of income.
