Preparation

Arranging the Date

If you're planning your first date, try to arrange to meet for a cup of coffee, or lunch rather than a romantic dinner date in the evening. Not only is this much safer, because it's in daylight, but if it's a rotten date it stops you both wasting your time. You'll also be much less likely to drink too much at lunchtime, or be carried away by the romance of a candlelit supper. However, if it goes well, and you really get on together, you can plan a different kind of date for the second time you meet up.

Make sure you arrange your date for a public place, like a coffee shop or restaurant, and leave the romantic walks or drives in remote places for when you know each other better. Let people know where you'll be and take your mobile phone with you.

Getting Ready

It may sound obvious, but do make an effort to look good. Wear clothes that are clean, in good condition, and that are flattering to you. There's no guarantee that this will make your date any more successful than it was ever going to be, but if nothing else, it will give you the confidence that you look your best. However, don't wear clothes that you don't feel comfortable in. If you can't walk in a pair of shoes or if your trousers are so tight that you can't sit down, then have a rethink and pick something else. Remember, you're going on the date to have fun and learn about this new person – two things you won't manage to do if you're thinking about how much your feet hurt, or whether your trouser buttons will burst if you eat anything else.

It should also go without saying that you should make sure that you pay close attention to your personal hygiene and that you try to be as well groomed as possible. Remember bad breath and body odour are an instant turn off, as are dirty nails, hair or shoes.

Conversation

So what should you talk about on a first date? This may depend on the manner in which you met your date and what you eventually want to get out of it, but in general, safe first date topics will include:

• Travel: where have they been to, and where would they like to go?
• Career: what they do for a living, what they would like to do?
• Pets: people love talking about their pets (but a warning to the girls – don't talk about your pets as if they are your children - it's very off putting to men).
• Family: do they have any brothers and sisters?
• Food and drink: especially if you're eating out – what are their favourite meals, their likes and dislikes?
• Free time: what do they like to do to relax?

Topics to avoid are: past relationships; your plans to have children in the next 18 months; how much you hate your job/family/ex.

If you're nervous, try role-playing before the date to calm your nerves. Rehearse how you are going to greet them and the way you are going to behave, either in your mind, in front of the mirror, or with a friend. You'll be amazed at how much more relaxed you are likely to feel, even if you do feel a bit foolish doing it at the time.