If you've received an invitation to a wedding, it is polite to send a reply as soon as possible, even if you aren't able to attend, so that your hosts may finalise numbers for catering, seating plans, or invite someone else who initially didn't make it onto the guest list. Replying by letter is straightforward, or your hosts may have made it even easier for you by enclosing a reply card with the invitation.
Letters
Your reply letter should be handwritten, on headed paper, or with the address written centred at the top, and the date at the bottom of the letter. Like the invitation, the letter is worded in the third person - in fact, all you have to do is copy out the invitation wording.
There is no need for a signature.
It is important that the name of every person planning to attend the wedding is included on the reply. This allows the hostess to correct any misunderstanding that may have arisen and to ensure that an accurate note of the numbers attending can be kept.
Reply Cards
Although not traditionally used in the United Kingdom, reply cards are widely used in Europe and the States, and are becoming more and more popular here, as they seem to ensure that guests reply more promptly.
Reply cards are usually pre-printed, single cards with the date of the wedding and "we can/cannot attend" and "name(s)" options to be ticked and filled in. They may also include an envelope with the host's address pre-printed to assist a quick response.
Changes to Replies
Sometimes invitations already accepted must later be declined, possibly because of illness, an accident, or through a sudden death in the family. In such a case the hosts should be informed at once by telephone, giving them time to amend the numbers given to the caterers. A simple follow up letter may be appreciated by the hostess, which should make clear who cannot attend if only one of the invited party is affected. For example:
Again, there is no need for a signature.
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